Dear FYFFFL,

Greetings from the dreamy Gowanus Canal. I pen this letter to you today from the bow of my new houseboat, which I have just purchased with my prize winnings donated by you. Before I set sail to Roll n’ Roaster in Sheepshead Bay for some roast beef sandwiches, I would just like to thank you for your lack of interest in attaining the requisite knowledge of the NFL that would make you at least somewhat competitive. Can someone explain how Puka Nacua was out there shattering receiving records and only 5 teams put in a waiver claim for him? But I digress - you were probably too busy watching Aaron Rodgers making “insightful” observations with the former punter for the Colts on his YouTube show and thinking that was going to help your fantasy team, rather than to just look at some box scores and make basic statistical inferences. How is it that I have only won this league three (3) times? No matter, the trophy is once again back in its rightful place, the esplanade along this mighty Superfund site under the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway. I see a large throng of tourists already milling about, gawking in disbelief - oh, maybe they’re actually looking at the dead dolphin floating under the drawbridge. Either way, it is a glorious day here in Gowanus, and I just want to thank you all again for your lack of football intelligence. I look forward to taking all of your money again next year. See you at Harold’s.

Sincerely yours,

DJ Milky Manchester

General manager - Gowanus Docking Station

Out of an abundance of caution and superstition, I will not make any official statements regarding this fantasy football league, past, present or future matchups at this time. I would like to wish all of you a joyous holiday season and Happy New Year. Thank you to Commissioner +REDACTED+ for overseeing another successful season of the FYFFFL.

With gratitude, Gowanus Docking Station

Sorry, I got nothin’.

I'm talking about all the way to the top, yeah. Unjustifiably in a position that I'd rather not be in. But the cream will rise to the top, ooh yeah. Macho WBallzness, yeah, has got more to offer than President Frankie thinks that I got, yeah, and let me tell you something right now, cards stacked against the WBallz in FYFFFL playoffs, let me say it, yeah, let me say it out loud, and let me point to the President of the FYFFFL, the WBallz are not happy with your decision, yeah. I am the cream in the FYFFFL and there is no doubt about it, yeah, you Mean Gene Okerlund you know that I'm the cream of the crop!

On balance, off balance, doesn't matter. I'm better than you are, yeah, and I'm talking everyone in the FYFFFL , and I'm even talking to President, yeah. I'm on my way, and nothing is gonna stop me. Nothing's gonna stop me.

WBALLZ THE CREAM OF THE CROP!

Fight for life

Lol I was searching gift for my upcoming high score and fucked up

As a 6 seed I got to make the dance to defend my title. Every game is a playoff game. Best of luck fuckers.

Order has been restored…..

FIN.

NewYork SackExchange has opted not to send a message or image to the league this week

[Sung to the tune of “Three Times a Lady” by the Commodores]

Thanks for the scores that you've given me

The touchdowns are all in my mind

And now that we've come to the end of our annihilation of Kave Krickets

There's something I must say out loud

You're once, twice, three times a weekly points winner

And I love you Gowanus

Yes, you're once, twice, three times a weekly points winner

And I love you

I love you Gowanus Docking Station

Cool, damp, and dark. It is kave kricket season again. I wanna thank SUSPected Covid+ and Concussion Protocol for not accepting any of my trade offers last week. Without your guys shortsightedness I wouldn't be where I am at today. May you regret you decisions for the rest of the season.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I stand before you today as the undisputed champion of fantasy football! This week, my team soared to heights unimaginable, leaving all other contenders in the dust. While some may call it luck, I call it sheer brilliance, strategy, and unwavering determination. To my fellow competitors, your feeble attempts to match my expertise were nothing short of entertaining. You were like amateurs playing in a professional league, utterly clueless against my masterful moves. Your teams? They were mere pawns in my game, easily manipulated and outclassed.

I want to thank you all for participating, for being willing sacrifices on my path to glory. Maybe next time, you can spend less time dreaming and more time learning from the best – that's me, in case you didn't catch on. In the realm of fantasy football, there's a hierarchy, and I, my friends, am at the very top. Better luck next time, though I highly doubt it will make a difference. Bow down to the champion!

Although I would like our world to change

It helps me to appreciate

Those nights and those dreams

But, my friend, I'd sacrifice all those nights

If I could make the Earth and my dreams the same

The only difference is

To let love replace all our hate

So let's go there

Let's make our escape

Come on, let's go there

Let's ask can we stay?

Can you take me higher?

To a place where blind men see

Can you take me higher?

To a place with golden streets

Dearly beloved

We are gathered here today

To get through this thing called "life"

Electric word, life

It means forever and that's a mighty long time

But I'm here to tell you there's something else

The afterworld

A world of never ending happiness

You can always see the sun, day or night

Unless davonte adams has a 20 pt 4th quarter here's my message.

It's a long season, best of luck and health to everyone.

* everyones teams and players I mean. Im not a fucking monster lol

Unless chase fumbles and fucks this here is my message

Sorry, just finished pretending to read all of gowanus message. Welcome back to my league. Tua in the pink is trying to go back tua back...again. #expectus

Subject: A Triumph in Fantasy Football - Bask in My Glory!

Dear FYFFFL league members,

I hope this message finds you well, because it's time to celebrate greatness! I couldn't help but notice that my fantasy football team absolutely dominated this week, leaving all of you in the dust. While I hate to rub it in, I just can't resist the urge to brag about my spectacular victory.

In the realm of fantasy football, there are winners and, well, everyone else. This week, I proved that I'm not just a winner; I'm a fantasy football genius! My team executed flawlessly, leaving no room for doubt that I am the reigning champion of our league.

Let's break it down, shall we?

• Unstoppable Lineup: My starting lineup was a work of art, strategically chosen to maximize every potential point. Every player delivered as expected, and some even exceeded expectations. I mean, who else can say they had such a perfect lineup?
• Masterful Trades: My brilliant trading skills are the stuff of legend. While some of you were pondering if you should make a move, I was busy wheeling and dealing to secure the best talent available. It's no wonder my team is an unstoppable force.
• Waiver Wire Wizardry: I also took the time to scour the waiver wire for hidden gems. While you were all sleeping, I was diligently building my roster with players who proved their worth this week. It's all about strategy, my friends.
• Infinite Football Wisdom: Let's not forget the depth of my football knowledge. I make decisions that would leave even the most seasoned NFL coaches in awe. It's like I have a crystal ball that predicts the future of every game.

So, my fellow league members, while I understand that losing to me week after week can be disheartening, take solace in the fact that you are in the presence of greatness. You can aspire to be as exceptional as I am, but remember, there's only one true champion in this league, and that's me!

Now, I graciously accept your admiration and applause for my incredible fantasy football prowess. Feel free to reach out if you need tips or advice—I'm always here to help, even if it's a bit intimidating to learn from the best.

Until next week, when I will undoubtedly emerge victorious once again.

Yours in supreme fantasy football glory,

Gowanus Docking Station via ChatGPT AI