lol
My message to the league:
Godspeed

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I needed a win, but it wouldn't have been possible without Brian. Every year he changes his team name and mocks Tua in our head to head. Every year it doesnt work. So I thank you Brian for giving me a breath of life. Tua isn't the dolphins answer, I fear, but he may be the fantasy idol I need.

We all need hope in this world. Fantasy let's me draft people id never get to cheer or hate for like this. My Mets failed, the Ryder cup Americans failed, my job tortures me. However, I got high points under the guise of Make America Gronk Again...... and for that I'll take a meaningless victory lap to be 1 and 3.

I’ve been up since 5:45 am starting the morning on the phone with some dumb-dumb who was doing some work for us at a Foreyes store in Cherry Hill, NJ. All he had to do was follow the instructions I was giving him and every step of the way he was doing the wrong thing, giving me bad information and bitching and complaining. I was on the phone that entire time until around 1PM when I allowed him to leave just so I could drive all the way down there and clean up the mess he made myself. I ended cutting up my hand in four places on some sharp edges in a data cabinet while tracing a cable through a bowling ball sized pile of Ethernet cables that looked like a twisted knot of blue spaghetti. I just got home and am exhausted.

I don’t have any humorous diatribe about the greatness of my fantasy team because it truly sucks top to bottom and this week was clearly a fluke. Instead let me use this opportunity to share the ear worm I’ve recently discovered from the genius stigbink,

Thank you for your attention on this matter

If someone would have told me in 2022 when the Trash Talk Bonus for the Highest Point Earner of the Week was created by the wise Commissioner that it would remain out of reach to me and my team until 2025, I would have said they were full of shit. But here we are in Week 2 of the 2025 Season and I have finally made it out of the pile after spending the past 3 years slithering with the snakes.

I only thank myself for this accomplishment. I picked a team of winners despite having 11 enemies planning, plotting, and scheming against me and the legacy I am trying to build here. Every victory I have earned in every season I have participated has brought me nothing but joy. Knowing the investment in thousands if not tens of thousands of wasted hours by my competition from watching, playing, and talking about football only to be defeated by someone who’s only experience comes from Mutant League Football, the Dreamcast college football game, the copy of Madden 2001 I got included with my Playstation 2 in 2003, and two and a half to three quarters of a full game each year during the Super Bowl.

This week’s victory is only the start. I won it all in 2019 and I am in the mood to win it again. Now that I broke the seal of making it, you are going to be seeing more words from here over this season. When the dust settles in January I will be sizing up a nice little nook to set my trophy with the new base up in.

I’d wish you all good luck, but you wouldn’t know what to do with it.

CONCUSSION PROTOCOL

2019 LEAGUE CHAMP

SOON TO BE 2025 LEAGUE CHAMP

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